Thursday, April 10, 2008

A gentle confidence

"I believe that reality is a sublime comedy staged for my education and amusement, and that there is a benevolent conspiracy to liberate me from my ignorance and help transform me into the unique masterpiece I was born to be."

That's what my horoscope said that I should repeat over and over again.

Photo: rayvensmoon on Flickr

I've had a few pretty terrible days lately. Delicate emotional hurricanes have been plaguing me this week...
Today was the worst of it. I finally errupted this evening and the result was a sea of tears that felt like they would never end.

It's finishing all the crucial stuff- all the critical stuff that I need to do before I go on the road. Stress. Pressure. Trying to protect my heart and my spirit.
And the time is passing so quickly.
I find myself being scared and anxious and lonely-
and with no one to share the other side of this with-
the nervous excitement and the tingling I feel in my fingertips.

I'm entering into this one with a gentle confidence.

8 comments:

Keira-Anne said...

That's a beautiful horoscope. Instead of seeing it as your fortune for the day, take it as words of wisdom to hold on to every single day. There is a lot of truth in it.

I hope tomorrow is sunnier for you in many ways. And if not, and all hell breaks loose again, at least at the end of the day you have Adebisi and Schillinger to keep you company, right?

Scott said...

Well, sometimes you just need to explode. I got my explosion over with on Monday :P

This may be futile to say, but I think you just need to say "fuck it," for once. Run head first into your tasks like you don't even care when or how they'll get done. They will get finished when they do, and to be honest, life is short enough already. No reason to kill yourself on the limited days we all got -- it's such a waste when you look at the big picture.

Besides, you'll probably get more done that way anyway and have a hell of a lot more fun doing it.

No need to ever feel lonely Jen. You got a friend in Japan who is always up for a chat ;)

JaG said...

((HUG))

And I love that quote!

Jennifer Stoddart said...

Thanks so much for all the support...what a beautiful inbox of comments to wake up to this morning.

Melissa and Chris said...

emotional hurricanes...I like that...I go through (create?) those more often than I'd like....xo, M

PatZ said...

that's no fun. hope you start to feel better soon.

hummingbird604 said...

Jennifer,

We're probably all going to head down to Tequila Kitchen on Friday April 18th. Would be lovely to see you there. Check my restaurant review, the place is great. Phaedra, Keira-Anne, John, Rebecca and myself are so far confirmed. Anyone else from the blogosphere is definitely most welcome!

Hang in there, Jen. Things should get better soon. Trust me, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Hugs and love,
Raul

Phaedra said...

It was wonderful to finally meet you today, and I hope that the yoga practice helped facilitate some inner peace, as you truly deserve it :)