Wednesday, July 4, 2007

I want it all...

Today didn't start out well. I haven't been sleeping much this week...bouts of insomnia combined with frequent night terrors. This morning I woke up with the kind of headache that makes you wish someone would stab you in the foot because it would take the focus off the throbbing pain in your skull.

Is my head in the clouds, or are the clouds in my head? I have spent tonight listening to Matthew Good's Hospital Music and trying to untangle the mess that is my mind. I've always been kind of an ADD goal setter. I have accomplished a lot in the last year but I'm always thinking up new ideas about what I want to be, or where I want to go, what I want to do. I suppose that ultimately, I just want to live happily ever after; but there's no instruction manual, no script for life to follow...I just want to feel like I'm making my mark in this crazy world. At times I feel caught between the desire to have wild adventures and the need to feel secure.
I want to feel like I'm doing things that are taking me further. Further is one of my favorite words.
Hey, hey wanna dance? Let's close our eyes and not our minds.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have come across your writing through Matthew Good. I actually googled "what doesn't kill us now will make us better whores." Love that line. I can't get that song out of my head.

Your blog is interesting. Keep up the great work!

Duane said...

Yeah I agree. You are a good writer, keep it up.

Jennifer Stoddart said...

Thanks so much for the positive feedback!