I am finding (and re-finding) music that makes me feel it again.
Music that appears in front of me and my mind goes "ohhhh"....
like I get it, like it's a reality.
Like when you realize you are looking into
someone's eyes and you should politely look away,
but you can't.
There are people that you meet-
and suddenly you notice that you
know more than you knew before-
Without the past they've known
or the past you've known-
it's an understanding of NOW, of this.
What is this called?
I've been reading in the rare moments of peace that I can find.
Mostly Rilke, and Cohen.
Still, mostly Rilke.
There's so many- but there's this one:
"Again and again, however we know the landscape of love
and the little churchyard there, with its sorrowing names,
and the frighteningly silent abyss into which the others
fall: again and again the two of us walk out together
under the ancient trees, lie down again and again
among the flowers, face to face with the sky."
There will be more, I know that for sure-
but that's what there is for now.
I've been reading.
Rilke wrote that people
should find solitude in one another-
stand guard over that solitude in each other-
but not dependence- not giving up, or giving in...
Not lessening oneself to create a pair...
but to see the distances- the differences-
the pureness- and the unbroken...
This is what interests me.
And all I can think is that he repeats
over and over in my mind-
that two people must see each other whole-
and against a wide sky!
There's a question we keep asking-
in discussions with one of the most
amazing and smart people I know
about whether it's better to be experienced
in love and care and being with others,
or is it better to have an air of innocence-
Which makes you "better" at relationships?
Which makes you more brave?