I was a short fuse burning all the time

Photo: Pete Woodhead on Flickr

We all make mistakes. And the thing about mistakes, is that you can't take them back. No matter how much you pray, or how much you want to, there's absolutely no way to turn back time. One of my high school teachers used to always say, "Hind sight is 20/20"...well ain't that the truth!? How often do we wish we could go back in time and change something. Looking back, there are always things that you wish you could have done differently. What was I thinking? Why did I say that? Why did I do that? One of the worst feelings in the world is the regret of having made a bad decision. You want to think that you're a smart and strong individual, that you're in control and that you'll always make good choices; but inevitably, we all make mistakes from time to time. I do believe that everything happens for a reason. We need to seek out those reasons in life so that we learn; because when things come clear to you, no matter how you have to get there, as long as you grow and come out the other side of it, it's all worth it. That's so much easier said than done though, isn't it? I know that overanalysis complicates everything...but I am Queen of Overanalysis, nonetheless. And isn't it easier to come down really hard on yourself when you make a mistake, rather than just taking responsibility and moving along?

Deepak Chopra has an interesting view of responsibility. He believes that you should not blame anyone or anything for your situation, including yourself. Having accepted this circumstance, this event, this problem, this mistake, responsibility then means the ability to have a creative response to the situation as it is now. All problems contain the seeds of opportunity, and this awareness allows you to take the moment and transform it into a better situation or thing. Once you do this, he says, every so- called upsetting situation will become an opportunity for the creation of something new and beautiful, and every so-called tormentor or tyrant will become your teacher. Chopra believes that reality is an interpretation. And if you choose to interpret reality in this way, you will have many teachers around you, and many opportunities.

It's natural to punish yourself in your own mind when you do something wrong, or something stupid. It's difficult sometimes to take the lessons as they come and not feel like a failure or an idiot when you get yourself into a bad situation. As I've said before though, no will or prayer can change the hands of time. Regret is wasted energy. Chin up, take the lesson and move along. I'm trying so hard to do that in life.