Thursday, June 5, 2008

The Importance Of Knowing Your Worth

Photo: Nick Andika on Flickr

When you share genuine love with another, even in its dark moments, it's still beautiful. The joy, laughter, and even the tears are all part of the experience; but what if you have feelings for someone who is all wrong for you? What if this person disrespects you, doesn't consider you, and takes advantage of your vulnerability or your willingness to always be there? What if what you have just doesn't feel solid? When all thought and reason tell you to be strong and "toss the putz out," as my dear friend says, you instead succumb to your emotions and allow yourself to be treated in a way that disempowers you. God knows I've been there.

We know our worth in our careers and our friendships, but why do we sometimes forget our worth when it comes to relationships? It seems that there will be people in our lives that we will fall for who will not completely see our worth, and in their self cherishing ways, will bruise our hearts. In truth, at least to some degree, these people are blessings, because they teach us so much about ourselves. Unfortunately, the process of learning about ourselves and revealing insecurities in this way can be extremely painful, despite the fact that these things will undoubtedly make us stronger and wiser in the end. Sometimes, we just need to hit a tipping point and then we realize, "hey, I've had enough" and subsequently, we remember our worth. Recognizing and acknowledging that our needs are not being met in a situation is a really positive turning point, I think. Sometimes we can get so caught up in nurturing that we don't even realize that we're not all that happy.

I've come to many realizations recently about myself and I'm so very thankful to the supportive people in my life who continue to share their wisdom with me and at times, have given me a shoulder to cry on. Feeling insecure, rejected, attached, and vulnerable is part of being human. I've learned that it's okay to feel sad and it's okay to cry. The important thing is what we do with these feelings. We can let them consume us, or we can walk away and turn them into a strengthening and learning experience. Difficult and painful as these lessons may be, they are pivotal ones.
Know your worth, don't ever forget how special you are; and if someone makes you doubt your value or compromise yourself or your integrity, know that you do deserve more than that.


Phaedra said...

You hit the nail on the head, yet again, with this insightful post. Indeed the greatest lessons learned are from those that affect us the most.

And yes, you are a special soul who does deserve more than that.

Tawcan said...

Amen. Great post.

Raul said...

Definitely, you DO know your worth. And you are awesome, but you already knew that :)

Great post, Jen!

Suzie said...

love your philosophies...awesome :)

TM said...

Such things always seem so hard to see when we're surrounded by it ... perhaps that's why we need to keep good friends around - for an honest perspective from the outside?

Great post :)

Jen (MahaloFashion) said...

I've been thinking a lot of my ex. I don't know what I saw in him, he was verbally and emionally abusive not to mention a master manipulator. He used me. Sometimes I wish I could go up to him and tell him how much I loathe him. We broke up years ago but it still lingers with me now, i'm so angry for letting myself get that involved!!

Barbara Doduk said...

Very good post. I have been asking myself the same question over and over a lot lately. My answer is always the same... I deserve to be loved. Which leads to the other question... Am I being loved?

Happiness is such a fickle thing.

Anonymous said...

needed that