Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Would I be whining if I said I needed a hug?

This morning, I felt as though I could have stayed in bed all day. My alarm squawked seemingly louder than usual at 6am. I was so cozy, nestled beneath my covers, that the thought of emerging and facing the day seemed unfathomable. There were no excuses though, warm and snuggled as I may have been, I had to haul myself up and get into the shower. Work was calling; and it just wouldn't shut up.
It was a beautiful drive to the office, over the Lions Gate Bridge. The North Shore mountains are glittery white, covered in fresh snow this morning. They took my breath away as I approached them. I could not be more excited about the upcoming snowboarding season and our regular trips to Grouse for night riding above the city.
At the moment, everything feels up in the air. On one level, I'm feeling more settled than I've ever felt in my life and on another...it's a world of unknown. Eager to take it all on, while at the same time plagued with self doubt and grappling with anxiety, I am sitting on the edge. I am still waiting patiently for the opportunity to jump into my future. There will be no safety nets when I do, but everything inside tells me that all of my hard work, blood, sweat and tears will pay off. I hope that these things have armed me with the experience I need to excel in the next phase. The confidence will come...I hope.

Things are changing, people are leaving, opportunities are knocking.

My focus is on "positive thoughts, positive thoughts...son of a bitch." I think that really says it all.


PatZ said...

you must tell me the secret to a good sleep. insomnia cant be immune to everything.

we have a wicked view of Canada Place, Grouse and North Van from the window in our classroom. Pretty much everyone who;s walked in this morning has stopped and said "wow, that looks cool"

Tashina said...

I love those early mornings when I wake up early and the bed is super warm and cozy. Even better when one gets to enjoy it for a bit. :)

Things are going to work out, and your confidence will come. We all have to take these giant steps once and a while. Sometimes they are what we had hoped they would be and other times we have to work hard to try and make them into that. But, either way, it's a good learning experience and it helps you grow as a person.

Jennifer Stoddart said...

I only wish I knew the secret to a good sleep Pat. I have major bouts of insomnia too...the good sleeps are hard to come by (which is why I want to stay in bed as long as I can when I'm having one. :)

Thanks for the kind and positive words Tashina! I know that you're right!