Photo: Hotel Lyric on FlickrThe other day, someone asked me the most amazing question. I haven't stopped thinking about it. This person said,"You could have one solid relationship for the rest of your life-stable, reliable and calm, but not passionate. Or you could have a bunch of relationships for the rest of your life, and most of them would end in heartbreak, but you'd have had incredible and passion-filled adventures...which would you choose?" I think many of us get trapped into thinking that we need to find our knight in shining armour who's also a reliable, stable force. I guess it's that need to feel like we'll always be loved: to feel safe. I'll be honest, commitment has always made me a little nervous. I tend to be more comfortable with having an adoring peanut gallery. (Keep the letters and cards coming...) Nevertheless, I am devoted and loyal to those I love.
When thinking about this particular question, the movie Vicky Christina Barcelona's conviction that it is better to have made passionate love and almost died at the hands of a jealous lover than never to have loved at all, comes to mind. Obviously that's extreme; however, I do think that heartbreak is part of life. The lessons learned through my own personal heartache have been paramount.
I suppose my track record speaks for itself. Up until this point I have, for the most part, chosen passion over logic. At some point, I hope to strike a balance. Ultimately, I kind of want it all. Is that too much to ask?
Okay, it's your turn...so tell me:
You could have one solid relationship for the rest of your life- stable, reliable and calm, but not passionate. Or you could have a bunch of relationships for the rest of your life, and most of them would end in heartbreak, but you'd have had incredible and passion-filled adventures...which would you choose?
5 comments:
Passion in many forms is always better then a stale stable relationship. I've had them both in my life and while the passion did end in heart ache the memories of it will last much much longer.
The hard part is holding out and finiding that person that offers passion and stability. The best of both world ;)
But Passion always rules!
I really and truly honestly don't know. Passion is fun while it lasts, but the instability is so anxiety-inducing. Having experienced both, I think I'd choose companionship and stability. It may sound cheesy, but that kind of stability and comfort provides a lot of inner warmth and that's love to me. Instant passion flickers and fades - love builds up something much more exciting.
Passion is wonderful when you are in the midst of it and propels you to intense and euphoric emotions that were once unimaginable. But as it is capable of great despair, a replacement will always be sought to fill that void. The repetition of the same experience gets old after awhile.
Though I definitely miss the kind of passion that I once experienced and all the excitement that it brought me, having a love that is unconditional and true has ultimately been more fulfilling. Passion changes but love endures.
I'm 32 and lonely, so I would go with the stable, reliable and calm relationship. I've gone the passionate route and at the end of it is always heart-break.
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